One of the first things couples want to talk about when they start planning their wedding music is the dance floor playlist. It is one of the most personal parts of the whole process and also one of the most misunderstood. There are a lot of conversations during planning that happen around what songs have to be played, and what songs absolutely must be kept off the playlist.
Here is how I think about it and how we build it together.
The questionnaire comes first
Before we ever get on a planning call, I send every couple a questionnaire and music is a big part of it. I want to know what you listen to on a regular basis, what was your vibe in high school or college, what genres feel like you, and what does not fit at all. I also ask about your family and friends to get a feel for what kind of crowd you are bringing to the party.
All that said, the questionnaire is not a formality. It is one of the ways I get a real picture of what your wedding should sound like before we talk through the details together during our planning sessions. When we sit down to go through everything, I already have a feel for your taste, and we can spend that time chatting and getting comfortable with each other rather than starting from scratch.
Must-plays: how many is the right number
This is where couples sometimes get tripped up. The instinct is to send over every song you love and make sure it all gets played. That instinct makes sense but presents a big problem. A wedding reception has a shape to it. The energy builds, peaks and comes down. A playlist that is locked in too tightly does not leave room to read the room and adjust.
How many must-plays makes sense depends on how long your reception is. A four hour reception has a lot more runway than a two hour reception. I help couples think through a range that covers the moments that really matter to them while still leaving space to let the night flow naturally.
The goal is not to hand over a set list. It is to give me enough to know what matters to you so I can build something around it.
The do-not-play list is more important than most couples realize
Couples put a lot of thought into what they want to hear and not nearly enough into what they do not want to hear. A well-built do-not-play list is one of the most useful tools in the planning process.
It does not have to be very long. A handful of songs or genres that are genuinely off the table is plenty. If there is a song with complicated feelings attached to it, or if country music is a hard no, tell me about it. If the Cha Cha Slide and other line dances make one of you physically leave the room, let me know. All of that is useful information and none of it is too specific to mention.
The do-not-play list also protects you from guests requesting songs you do not want to hear. If someone requests a song that is on your list, I can decline it without making it awkward.
Guest requests: where they fit in
Some couples want an open request policy and some want full control. Most of my couples land somewhere in between and that is fine.
No matter your preference, guests will try and make requests. My way of handling these requests is to only play them when they fit the vibe of the night. If someone requests a song that works with where the energy is, I will play it. If it is not quite right, it will not make the playlist. The couple’s preferences and the overall flow of the night are always the priority.
What this looks like in practice
By the time your wedding day arrives, we have spent time putting together a clear picture of what the night should feel like. The songs for the pivotal moments are perfectly timed, the do-not-plays are locked in, and the must-plays will set the tone for the whole dance floor. The rest is built in real time based on how the room is responding.
The combination of preparation and flexibility that we work together on is what makes a reception feel personal rather than like a playlist someone else made for a different wedding.
If you want to talk through how the music planning process works and what it would look like for your wedding, I would love to hear from you.
Must-Plays, Do-Not-Plays and How We Build Your Wedding Playlist
Building a wedding playlist is more than sending over your favorite songs. Here is how the music planning process actually works and what makes the difference on the night.